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Alisooooooon!

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[24 Jan 2006|09:18pm]
New LJ.

feelit_burn

1 Scar|Embrace the beauty within.

[05 Dec 2005|04:39pm]
IT'S SNOWING!

:D:D:D


3 Scars|Embrace the beauty within.

A bit of everything .. [06 Sep 2005|12:34am]
Fuck this. I am venting. I am letting out everything I've ever wanted to and need to right here right now. If you don't like it, fuck you.

------

I am tired of people from The Sato bothering me about every little thing. NO everything is not my fault. NO I cannot do everything. I'm sorry, I can't. I am thirteen fucking years old. I have school. I have a family. I have friends. I have a boyfriend. I have a life. There are a lot of things that right now take priority over fixing a walkthrough that was PERFECT and then fucked up by someone else. Things have priority over voting for your jutsu, clans, or systems.

I love you all to death. But fuck, please leave me alone sometimes. You know why?

THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WHO CAN DO IT!

I AM NOT THE ONLY KAGE.

Yes, I am the Head of the Gokage. I am the Rokudaime Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato. And I'm damn proud of it. You know why?

I'M 13


Yes, that's right.

I have been able to climb above people who are up to 10 years older than myself. I have shown more maturity, dedication, and intelligence than them. I have gained more respect than them. I have worked harder than them.

I DESERVE to be where I am now. I deserve the respect. Yes, for the FIRST time in my life I am admitting to myself and letting everyone know that I deserve something I've earned and I am completely and utterly PROUD of it.

But you know what pisses me the fuck off?

The fact that everyone disregards the fact that I am human.

That I am just beginning my life.

That I have a life.

I put up away messages blatantly saying that I'm feeling ill. Saying that I do not want to talk to people. I tell people when I'm talking to them "I'm not in a good mood." "I feel like shit." "I really hate this"

AND. THEY. DON'T. CARE.

These are people who are my FRIENDS

THEY DON'T GIVE A FLYING SHIT ABOUT ME.

They just go on and on. "Hey, I have this idea!" "Look at this!" "help me!"

And you know what, on and off the site, in school, outside of school- EVERYWHERE- happens, that drives me crazy?

I DO SO FUCKING MUCH FOR EVERYONE. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES THEY'VE STABBED ME IN THE BACK. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES THEY'VE MADE MY CRY, OR CUT MYSELF, OR THROW MY INTO AN ABYSS OF MISERY- I AM STILL THERE FOR THEM.

AND YET NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT WHEN I'M UPSET. WHENEVER I VENT. WHENEVER I CRY. WHENEVER I TRY TO EXPLAIN WHY I'M UPSET LIKE THEY SO DESPERATELY WANT ME TO, THEY JOKE.

THEY JOKE. THEY LAUGH. THEY DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. THEY SAY "Oh .. that happened before. I know what you mean. Lets go on about how it happened to me and MY problems with it"

LETS ALL IM ALISON WITH OUR PROBLEMS.

I love to help people.

I love it.

It's why I'm making it my career.

But dammit. sometimes .. sometimes I just .. I want someone to just worry about me

I want it to all about me for once.

And I feel so god damn sick saying that but it's TRUE. I don't want to have to worry about everyone but myself and for one day just worry about myself. Have someone else- EVERYONE ELSE worry about me.

I moved here when I was 5 years old and for the past 8 years I have been stabbed in the back, used, and thrown away. Over and over and fucking over again.

I have had to take care of everyone else. When their friends stabbed them in the back, I was there for them. And then I got theirs in my back.

I never had anyone to take out those knives.

I was there to take care of my brother as he dealt with all of the girls that broke his heart. I was there for him when my parents were kicking him out of the house. I was there for him when my dad tried to beat the shit out of him.

I was there for my mom when they fought. I was there for my mom when my dad hurt her. When my dad put her down.

I was there for my dad when my mom drank. I was there for him when he felt guilty.

My brother was there for me ..

Until he grew up. Until I saw him less and less. Until he started to always be out with his friends, constantly, or with his girlfriend.

And then I started to see him again.

I had my brother back.

BUT HE'S GONE NOW.

AND I WON'T EVER GET HIM BACK.

I WON'T EVER BE ABLE TO HUG HIM AGAIN. OR SMACK HIM. OR HEAR HIS VOICE. OR SEE HIM WALK INTO THE DOOR.

And I'm not over that.

And I'm scared that I won't ever have anyone to confide in again. That I won't ever have anyone that I can tell everything to. That I won't ever have anyone that I can tell my secret and problems and hopes to. Because so far everyone's just stabbed me in the back. My walls are getting thicker. They were never destroyed; they were only hidden.

Even on The Sato, it seems like everyone's secretly out to get at each other's throats. I am talking about shit like this

[21:58] Naishouyka: He is the Kage
[21:58] Naishouyka: you work for him
[21:58] Naishouyka: so shh
[21:58] RaxTrav: i work for suna
[21:58] Naishouyka: He is the heart of Suna
[21:59] RaxTrav: hes just at the top chair
[21:59] Naishouyka: ...yeah you are a lost soul...
[21:59] RaxTrav: im the second longest standing member of suna (Inashi beats me by one day)
[21:59] RaxTrav: i think i know where i belong
[22:00] Naishouyka: That means what?
[22:00] RaxTrav: it means im as far from a "lost soul" as they come
[22:01] Naishouyka: You must be because you don't know your job
[22:01] RaxTrav: do you even know what my job is
[22:01] Naishouyka: ...councel members are to advice actions for leadership...aka the Kage...

The people that you're supposed to be able to trust.

Work with.

Be friends with.

Out to get you.

YOU'RE ALL FUCKING SICK.

EVERY FUCKING ONE OF YOU. YOU'RE ALL DISGUSTING.

I HATE YOU.

I hate how you treat everyone like shit. I hate how you all think you're so fucking amazing. I hate how you all think you're above everyone else. Whether you're on the site or not.

I DON'T WANT TO BE A CYNICIST.

BUT FUCK. WHEN I SEE THINGS LIKE THIS.

When I see how badly me and Cassie are treated. How we are just back up friends to everyone that you only come to to vent to and get advice from ... it makes me sick. It makes me sad. It makes me wish I were as selfish as you. It makes me wish I had never met you.

I wish I were ignorant. I wish I had no idea the world were like this. And you know what? I've known it for far too long. I was never ingorant. I was never a child

I've grown up way too fast. I love it. I love when people are proud of me .. say I'm mature .. say they forget I'm 13.

But sometimes I wish I were 13. Sometimes I wish I could be a stupid fucking kid with friends without worrying about what rumors they're going to spread about me the next day, or having to cater to people online when I get home.

I wish I had been Molly Fellici growing up.

Or Carly Gundrum.

But I am so fucking glad I wasn't.

You know why?

Because I am so much stronger than they can ever hope to be.

I've dealt with bullshit. I've dealt with lies. Deceit. Heartbreak. Heartbreaking. Work. Being lost. Being confused. Dealing with things that people shouldn't have to deal with. Knowing that people have it worse than me.

YES. HA. THAT'S WHAT SEPERATES ME FROM SO MANY OTHERS.

I REALIZE THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO WOULD LOVE TO BE AS FORTUNATE AS I AM.

That's why I don't tell anyone how I feel. Or what's bothering me.

Because I know it's not that bad.

Because I know people have it worse.

But then things just get worse for me. And no matter how little they may be, I wish all of my problems would disappear. Poof. I wish life would be easy for once, even if it's harder for others. I wish I could not care about anything for a day. Just a day. Then things would return to normal. That my life would return to be the life I hate.

The life I love

The life I have.

[03 Aug 2005|02:55am]
Happy Birthday
3 Scars|Embrace the beauty within.

Leave me once / Leave me twice / Kiss goodbye that will sufice [28 Jun 2005|07:33pm]
[ mood | Reflective ]

So I'm leaving in like, an hour-ish. Around 5 or something. I've spent the day cleaning and packing things, all the while thinking of the people I'll be leaving. But I won't really be leaving them, because I know that they'll never forget me (or they better not *shakes fist), and that I most certainly won't forget about them. I owe so much to the people of area code 856, zip code 08028. G-g-g-g-gb0r0! Whatever. My life would be so fucking fucked (hehe) without the friends I've had from kindergarten, 2nd grade, 6th and then the great ones I regretfully only got to know this year. I'll start this tear jerking memorial with what I wrote on the last day of school on Mrs. Miller's chalk board. Last period of the day; Advanced Math. Because the fellow cool geeks in that room make up so much of the greatness I experienced in Glassboro. It's quite sappy and mushy and corny, but you know, fuck you, kay? Hoozah!

Class of 2010, 2004-2005
Omg, this year's been amazing. I made so many great friends that I'll never forget. Through all the drama we've been together and I know it's gonna stay that way. We'll move, we'll cry, we'll gihht but we'll always be the class of 2010, originating in GBORO. I love you guys so much, and I'm emo so I gotta say it =) Never forget anyone of us, 'cause trust me we'll never forget anyone, and don't ever doubt that. From 2nd grade to now, from now to forever and beyond.

I love you ♥ Alison

----

Aaaand. I'm about to cry. =/ Haven't even gotten half way into this thing, hehe. By that point I doubt any of you will have even realized JUST HOW MUCH you all mean to, and by the end of this it still won't be complete. The memories of this year will always resurface in my mind when I'm feeling down; the next time theres a knife to my neck, I'll see the picture of you guys all together in my head. I'm never forgetting you guys. I've been there for you throughout this year whether you knew it or not, or chose to use that or not, and I'll always be here for you too. ALWAYS, bitches. ALWAYS. Never, ever, ever doubt it or forget it. If you're laying in your bed crying one night and wondering if anyone gives a shit, think of me. Need someone to talk to but think it's too late? call me Just don't get mad when I call you at 3 am >> Hehe. <3 Okay. Time for shout outs. =O I've never .. ever done these .. I don't think so.

Here's to life!

----

Caitlin :: This is to the old you. The real you. The one you seemed to have lost or chosen to throw away, or decided that she's not 'cool' enough to take over anymore. This is to memories I had with her. Thanks for those times. The times of being hyper at the skating rink and screaming emo lyrics to each other; lmao. "Will you bare my child?" Sucks that I gotta leave on a bad note, but you know, I'm gonna admit it's not my fault this time. all of your new ZOMGBESTFRIENDS know it; you're changing. I hope that you'll finally realize it before you do to them what you did to me. I wish you the best in life, and feel free to lean on me when you need to. Have a good time with your new life.

Katsu-Senpai :: I think we've been friends for five years now. It sucks that we had that fallout. I don't take back what I wrote, I just feel bad that it had us split up. BUT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY. We gotta get together sometime. We can walk from the Town of Elks, or wherever you live, and go to Renlund and swing, walk the tracks and talk about hot guys with the hayhead, farout dreams and how humanity sucks. Annoying little kids in school, hehe. Then we're gonna do peppershooters, even if we have to steal the damn peppers >:| AND THEN WATCH AKIRA AND SAILOR MOON AND DBZ AND YUU YUU HAKUSHO XDDDDD! Kamui the head-hugger *shudders* I'll show you some yaoi too ^.~ Aishiteru Katsu-senpai; here's to the future and strengthening our bond once again. emo! See you, space cowboy.

Chelsea :: OMFGGGGGGGGG! Your comment in my yearbook is so true: it's not fair that we just got so close this year and now we gotta be split apart. I'm so proud of you for getting over him *huggles* But no girl is more deserving of a guy who cares for her than you, and he wasn't that guy. Guys are fags =/ Hey! We can go to South Street sometime and go boy hunting ;) Then we can crawl up in the corner together and sing emo songs and be emo and cry emo tears! "Listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbyeeeee" I'm so so so so glad I got to know you this year. You're an awesome, true-to-yourself kinda girl, and that makes me <3 you :) And everything else about you! Never forget I'm here for you chicka. Love you <3

Robyn :: Oh man, how did we drift this year =/ It made me so sad. BUT NOW WE'RE GETTING BACK TOGETHER and getting married in our Fuzzy Evil Frog Bunny ninja outfits and having maaaaad lesbian sex. Holler! I still admire the fact that you're so honest and hopefully I'll be like you one day. You're real and that's awesome. Never change you're just .. OMGAMAZINGSECKS<3 I can always talk to you about everything. You're beyond your years. We're never gonna drift apart again. NEVER, BITCH. NEVER. And all those bitches that think they're too cool for you *cough* can choke on cock :) My cock. BWAHAHAHA. Did you go on the Zipper with me? I think so. I don't know. I remember going "OMG ROBYN WENT ON IT .. WITHOUTME." Next year, we're going on it together. For sure. I love you girlie, and I'm so glad that throughout all of these years I've been close to you and been able to talk to you. <333333333333333333333333xshgoaseitgf jaoijtyaqu

Jessica :: Wow. I can't believe it's taken me .. 8 years since I moved here to finally talk to you like I have this year. You're such a sweet and nice girl, and you truly deserve the best. It's been awesome having someone to talk to about HAVING FUN!!!!! and just being crazy with and not caring about what other people say. You and Robyn are awesome like that; you're reeeeeeeal 100% :) And yes I know you signed my belt first and so you love me more than Emily and Annie and them XD! We're defintely gonna keep talking no matter what, because this year's been too awesome for us to just drift apart again. <3333!

Cassie :: This year we drifted a quite a bit, but we of course got back together. If the asshole does anything to you again, or if any other asshole does anything to you, just remember I broke being a pacifist for you and will again XD! And I'd do you too ;) ;lOKAY. THAT'S IT. WE KEEP SAYING IT. When I see you again we're doing it rotfl. Or we'll dress up in bikinis over our clothes and reindeer antler and kitty ears, dance to your toaster and take pictures and play with Bam Bam. :) Either way it'll be fun xD You're sexy and don't ever say other wise. "It's just past 8 and I'm feelin' young and reckless. The ribbon on my wrist says do not open before Christmas. WE'RE ONLY LIARS but we're the best" "This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue and my eye through the scope down the barrel of a gun" Me you and Luke gotta go to the movies again :) Share giant jawbreakers. And don't worry sweetie, you are a good friend and always have been I know you're there for me to talk to and guess what?! I'm here for you too. I Love You. <33333

Emily :: Rotfl you're crazy! A fun, hyper chicka ... with a million guys drooling after her that get kicked in the face if they hurt her ^_^ Don't let a guy phunk with your heart (ROTFLTHATWASSOCORNYXD) Peanut Crew forever! I wonder if our butts still have the same area. OMG MR.KINSEY. School was so much fun because of you. I'm always gonna think of you when I have Language Arts class XD Hopefully I don't have another Mrs.Greenwood .. if you have her again, I'm gonna feel soooo bad for you. XDDDD! We'll have to text each other in class and make fun of her if you do, or if I have a bitch-esque teacher like her. "I don't wanna love you/Don't wanna need you/Just wanna leeeeeeeaaaave you" Luckily you won't have to worry about getting pansted in gym class again .. BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF KIM KERR. :) Skating Rink. Friday. Whenever they go you guys guy. YOU. CALL. ME. I'll be up there in a second like BITCH DON'T MAKE ME GO BLACK ON J00! Me and you can take her and all her skanky little bitches, that is, if we don't pass out from the stink between their legs first. Slutsssssesresesresses! You > All.

Michelle :: Why did it take us so long to start talking again? *faints* You're so awesome, girlie. I know I can talk to you about so much; we have so much in common. We gotta go running together still LOL. And then we can go to Pap Luigi's and stalk Jamie and swoon about Jamie and take pictures of Jamie and giggle about Jamie and OMGJAMIEISSOSEXY lmao. Then we can roll down the hill :) You're an amazing girl and don't ever say otherwise. Don't let anyone step on you or else I'll beat your ass .. then theirs :) I love you sisterie, you're awesome. <3

Steffieieieieieieieieieieie :: It took almost the whole year but when I finally got to know you I realized what an amazingly awesome person you are. I can talk to you about so much and don't forget you can do the same. I tried but I don't know if I was able to help you that much this year .. but I can always try again! (read: I'm always here for you <3) Don't let the mistakes you seem to make let you get you down; you're still a great girl. Don't ever doubt that people care about you. You're a lot like me but you gotta be strong no matter what. And don't doubt that you have a nice ass either XD

Annie :: I didn't get to know all that well this year, but I am glad that I got to know you to the extent that I did. After the play = Love. Maybe after spending a few weeks in the ghetto with da gangstasssss I'll be able to dunk .. or maybe learn how to shoot XD Then afterwards, you and James and Tony can draw the penis fish back on my arm and we can have hardcore sex again!!! Rotfl my arm and your hand were so red :) we're masochists, lmao.

Alright.. time for my male whores >:]

Brandon :: Omg. Friends since second grade. I still have your ghetto fake plastic ring XD It only has one gem in it now but even when the last gem falls out we'll still be friends forever (OMGEMO) Maybe I can make out with your dog again sometime? You're sooooo sexy *pets your arms* Just shave >:| I know you think I'm like the most UNblack person in the world but watch out because one day I'll be even more gangstER than you XP You're a great guy and I know that under your dumbass gangsta act you are :) Hopefully the next time I hump you we won't get stuck in the desk LMAO Great memories this year, and the year before, and the year before, and the year .. whatev, you know what I mean. And PLEASE for the love , make Dillon realize that making farting noises with your arm pit is NOT cool -.- You should teach him something about being cool though. Like ... NOT stealing people shoes, haha. Oh man, stealing your shoe and watching you hop after me in the hallway = Pricelesssss. I'll never forget you, man. We gotta keep in touch and chill. Tell your parents I said hi :) LOVE YOU <333333333333

Tony :: Friends since 5th grade .. I'm so sad we drifted this year. You're an awesome guy don't ever say otherwise alright you stupid Asian?! You're so easy to talk to and you always give good advice. I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you this year =/ I'LL DEFINITELY SEE YOU DURING THE SUMMER. And if your parents are dumb then hell I'll walk to Glassboro and then to your house. I wanna see Sakura again anyway :D Then we can play DDR with your messed up color TV. Where's my rice cooker and my pocky, by the way >:| Lolz. You're the 133t h4x0rz, but I'm still more 1337 that you. I love you, Tony. You're really great. <3

Nick :: I really considered you one of my best friends. Your ears turns me on soooo much lmao. Reading Class = Love. You're one of the funniest kids I've ever met; your impressions of Melissa DuBois and other gay little kids are so incredibly funny like WOW. You and Matt always match; it's like your soul mates. You two should have make out sessions for me. "Uh, no" Rotfl. I love you, man. Tell me if the girls we pointed out turn into the completely less awesome, hot and funny Emily, Annie and Chelsea :) Then we can beat those bitches up. Or make fun of them. You're an amazing friend and an awesome guy and I love your squishy butt. <3

James :: You and I have had our arguments and shit, but you've always been and always be one of the most awesome guys I know. You're beyond your years and have a wealth of knowledge .. just use it =p You're a nice guy and it's easy to see who you got your kindness, coolness, and amazingness from. YOUR PARENTS. Omg when you read this you HAVE to give your parents a big huge ass emo hug for me they're so awesome. And maybe you'll be just as awesome as them someday .. maybe. Hehe kidding. Don't ever change kid or else I'll beat yo' ass. I love you!

Scott :: I hate you. SIKE NAW! You're so incredibly funny. CRUSTY FOREVER. I wanna suck your chin again ^.~ I dunno if I can take it all in though. Rotflmfao. If you see Kyron again make sure to put a special bust on his mismatched shoes ...FOR ME. :) But becareful that you don't get raped. REMEMBER. MR. ENGLEMAN IS RACIST rotfl! Don't let him fuck with you guys just 'cause I'm not there. We gotta have butt sex when I see you again ... IN YOUR POOL =O And then I'll make out with a girl for you. And every other guy xD Stay awesome, alright bitch? <3333

Joey :: Omg, you're so innocent and cute and DUMB. I love you <3 I liked you for awhile, could you tell? XD I will bite you again .. what did your parents say about that scratch on your chest? x.x I'm so sorry about that .. I'm sure it brought up some interesting conversation at home though ;) Pleeeeease don't go out with anymore stupid girls =-= I will slap you .. and them. AND REMEMBER. SHAVING IS SEXY. Rotfl. Stay cute and sexy and funny and nice and AWESOME. Or I'll kill you. :) You're an awesome friend and so fun to just hang out with. Love ya <3

Robby :: Omg! I looked over this 5 page entry, and wondered if I forgot anyone. See when I was writing most of it I was in a car and my dog was like ON ME x.x I love you though. You're SO FUNNY and your head is fucking sexy ^.~ And you're not just funny you're a great friend too. I can relate to you in a lot of ways and that means a lot. I'll never ever forget the times we had in gym class or at the carnival, or last Summer when I saw you sometimes with Luke. Sitting with you and James and Emily and everyone in gym class on the bleachers was just so hilarious, and a lot of that is because of you. The random one =p I'm sorry that I didn't have you in here earlier, or that I didn't get to really talk with you more than I did.BUT WE WILL TALK DURING THE SUMMER. I love you! <3333

-----------

So right now I'm in the car, crammed in the back with the dog and all our crap. Laptops = Love. I have 6 hours of music on here, lmao. And yea. I'm trying not to cry because I keep scrolling up and reading the shout outs to the most amazing people in the world and realizing that the times we had will be remade so few times during the Summer and in years to come. We all really need to get together, a lot. Maybe at the LL field. Or hell, AT SCHOOL. I still gotta take that picture of Emily, Annie, Jessica and Chelsea over the fence around the track field, their shorts on and their sweat pants around their ankles. Then have James with his shorts around his ankles and his boxers on. You know, the one we were going to make into a billboard and have the caption "It's just one of those days" or something. Oh man, gym class =/ The sexiness of Ricky Tunstall *swoon* I was crushing thoughout this year, hehe. *gets smacked* Yea I know my taste sucked some of the time XD D.S.!!!!!!!!!!!! *FAINTS* No matter what, he's sexy and the guys know they wanted to do him too. I know some of you think I'm gonna turn gangsta and shit like that, but don't EVER. EVER. EVER think I'll forget about any of you. I remember watching my brother go out with his best friends, and just hoping that one day I'd have the kind of relationship with people that he had with them. Well this year .. I felt that I found my group of best friends. I love you guys so much and you'll never understand the impact you made on me, through the good and the bad. Remember how I was in the beginning of the year? The closed up, dressed in complete black scared and untrusting girl ... I changed because of you all. Thank you so much for all you've done for me, and just being with me in the classes. You showed me that .. not everyone is bad. I'm just so, so sorry that it took me until now to know that and to trust you and to be NICE to some of you. I'm sorry for all the stuff in the past but gawd, just don't forget that I care about you all so much. I know I'm annoying with my emoness =p I'm sure James is rolling his eyes going "whatever" and wanting to gag XD

Keep in touch ya'll. We'll hang out, def. And hell, even though I'm sure you wouldn't wanna go to the boondocks/the ghetto/hell, you guys are all welcome to come down and stay for awhile. WE CAN HAVE A GIANT SLEEP OVER =O show the Port Norris bitches how we do up in Gboro :) Glassboro is so amazing. I'm glad to get away from the drama, though I'm still up for being the peer mediator is chatrooms XD And at the rink, etc. I wish I could take you away from it too. But just know that I'm always, always, always here for you. Then again I'm sure drama in PN is gonna be pretty bad too ... damn gangsta hoes. XD

AND NO FUCKING DRUGS.
I swear if any of you do drugs I will fucking walk, ride my bike, take a bus, hitch hike, ride on my dog, ride on a lawnmower, steal a car, SWIM ... WHATEVER. I'll do whatever it takes to get up there and lecture you like hell and get you HELP. Don't ever, ever, ever, think I'll let you get away with that shit. Don't forget what happen on April 3rd of 2004, or about Mr. Logan telling us personally about the experiences he's had. THINK OF JAMESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Sorry I had to say that. James' dad telling us about how, yea, some of us might get tempted into it scared the shit out of me. =/=/=/=/=/

STAY SEXY.

I love you. And that's all I can say. If you guys haven't realized that by now then .. you belong in sped.

Best friends
isn't
a
title
it's
a
promise
<3

9 Scars|Embrace the beauty within.

[04 Jun 2005|09:49pm]
[ mood | reflective ]

I miss ...

I miss the long, endless chats in Konoha Sato on AIM.

I miss hearing about Ryo's gangsterly adventures, and then Yoshin popping in with lots of perverted comments that would get us all talking about sex.

I miss the first bash. The Halloween bash.

I miss talking to Mallory in the KS chats about yaoi and sending Fanfic links to the chat, and then having all of the guys hate us. :)

I miss Anthony.

I miss going to the skating rink with Rob and Mike and CJ even though everytime we went there would be drama.

I miss going to the skating rink with Ally and Katie, too, now that I think of it.

I miss talking to all of them.

I miss going to the orchards with Luke and having cherry fights

I miss going to Kathleen's house on the weekends and taking walks and swinging on the swings.

I miss the Evil Fuzzy Frog Bunnies. In other words talking endlessly with Robyn.

I miss driving around with my brother.

I miss talking to my brother.

I miss seeing my brother.

I miss my brother.

I miss knowing that no matter how far apart I am from a certain someone, they'll still be there to hold me throughout the night.

I miss talking to and hanging out with Cait.

I miss the old Cait.

I miss talking to a bunch of people I met a week ago that live miles and miles away from me on the phone for three minutes.

I miss the feeling that I got when I knew everything would be okay.

I miss seeing Chelsea, Annie, and Emily all together and all happy with their perfect boyfriends.

I miss the chats with Cassie and Cory where we would plan to all live next to each other and have a big pool that went through all of our backyards.

I miss last Halloween.

I miss talking to Dylan and Sharayah =/

I miss being happy and feeling complete.

I miss the times when you kept track of every 28 days just because it was close to the month ending.

I miss Conner!

I miss having recess at Bowe.

I miss not knowing the meanings of songs like "Fantasy" or not knowing what was going on in Scary Movie 1 where the parents hit the chick running around naked.

I miss the old days.

I wish I were who I am now .. back then. =/

But most of all ........

I miss you.

7 Scars|Embrace the beauty within.

FILL IN THE BLANKS lmao I found this in my old ass blurty [08 May 2005|03:59pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Dear Alison,
You are really _____. You should _____. We need to go _____. After that we can _____ because I wanna____with you. Remember that time we _____? That was so _____. Maybe tomorrow we can _____. You are my _____. i _____ you!

Love, _______

P.S. _____.

-

PAST RESPONSES THAT I WANT TO REMEMBER XD

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4 Scars|Embrace the beauty within.

[07 May 2005|09:55pm]
01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal
16 Scars|Embrace the beauty within.

I loff j00 <33 [29 Apr 2005|10:43pm]
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3 Scars|Embrace the beauty within.

[23 Mar 2005|10:32am]
Stolen from obito (The link thing isn't working. Deal with it.)

Put your playlist on shuffle. Pick the first 15 songs that come up and add "in my pants".

1. "Dearest In My Pants" by Ayumi Hamasaki
2. "Three Simple Words In My Pants" by Finch
3. "Swing Life Away In My Pants" by Rise Against
4. "The Domestic Fucker Family In My Pants" by Dir en Grey
5. "Everything Went Numb In My Pants" by Streetlight Manifesto
6. "Evil In My Pants" by Interpol
7. "Kissing the Lipless In My Pants" by The Shins
8. "Stay With Me In My Pants" by Finch
9. "Shuukyou In My Pants" by Shena Ringo
10."I'm Not Okay In My Pants" by My Chemical Romance
11."A Better Place, A Better Time In My Pants" by Streetlight Manifesto
12."Wind In My Pants" by Akeboshi
13."Big Weenie In My Pants" by Eminem
14."Unerasable Sin In My Pants" by Nana Kitade
15."I Disappear In My Pants" by The Faint

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4 Scars|Embrace the beauty within.

[11 Mar 2005|01:49pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||| 20%
Stability || 10%
Orderliness |||||||||||| 43%
Empathy |||||||||||| 43%
Interdependence |||| 16%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Mystical |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Artistic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Religious |||||| 23%
Hedonism |||||||||||| 50%
Materialism |||||||||||||||| 70%
Narcissism |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 50%
Work ethic |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Self absorbed |||||| 30%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||| 63%
Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 70%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Avoidant |||||||||||||| 56%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56%
Wealth |||||| 30%
Dependency |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Change averse |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Individuality |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 63%
Peter pan complex |||||||||| 36%
Physical security |||||||||||||||| 63%
Food indulgent |||||||||||||||| 63%
Histrionic |||||||||||||| 56%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Vanity |||||||||||| 43%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Female cliche |||||||||||| 43%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.


trait snapshot:

introverted, irritable, feels invisible, observer, depressed, does not enjoy leadership, reveals little about self, dislikes large parties, feels undesirable, does not like to stand out, submissive, suspicious, emotionally sensitive, not a thrill seeker, solitude loving, likes silence, fragile, second guesses self, negative, unadventurous, fearful, weird, focuses on people's hidden motives, paranoid, phobic, dependent, cautious, avoidant, semi intellectual
Embrace the beauty within.

I'll admit. This is. Completely true. o.o;;; [23 Feb 2005|05:22pm]
You are feeling really miserable at this time and you'd like to form a relationship with someone with whom you could really communicate. At the same time, whoever it may be, that special 'someone' must not conflict with your own belief system or ideals. This makes for tough going - but it would seem that the situation is only transitory. It will soon pass.

Being impulsive and irritable, your desires and needs are paramount. You do things with insufficient thought - with little regard to the consequences that may follow. As a consequence of this attitude, you may be experiencing stress and conflict.

It is amazing that you yourself believe that old 'adage' that you are a misunderstood person - and you feel that because of this you are being left out in the cold. It is because of this lack of believed understanding that you feel the need to conform to society in general - but this situation leaves you 'cold' knowing that you are not appreciated for your true self. Any relationship that you are developing at this time does not seem to involve any true emotional commitment, you seem to be just playing along.

You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.

You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality

http://www.colorgenics.com/sps/
Embrace the beauty within.

Fill it out BITCHES [02 Feb 2005|07:35pm]
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7 Scars|Embrace the beauty within.

Welcome to the Konoha Sato chatroom [01 Jan 2005|07:52pm]
Ryokutetsai: XD
DokuHimora: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
DokuHimora: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
DokuHimora: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
DokuHimora: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
FairyOfFire28: XD
DokuHimora: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
DokuHimora: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
DokuHimora: XD
Yoshin san: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
FairyOfFire28: XD
DokuHimora: XD
FairyOfFire28: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
DokuHimora: XD
FairyOfFire28: XD
DokuHimora: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
FairyOfFire28: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
DokuHimora: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
FairyOfFire28: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
DokuHimora: XD
FairyOfFire28: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
Legatorem has left the room.
Yoshin san: DX
DokuHimora: XD
PyroPunkie66: XD
Ryokutetsai: XD
FairyOfFire28: xd
FairyOfFire28: xd
PyroPunkie66: xD
DokuHimora: xd
FairyOfFire28: XD
DokuHimora: XDDDDD
PyroPunkie66: XDDDDD
Ryokutetsai: (>'')>
FairyOfFire28: XDDDDDDDD
DokuHimora: XDDDDDDD
4 Scars|Embrace the beauty within.

[14 Aug 2004|08:44pm]
I decided to take the picture out because it was too big, and messed up the alignment of entries. Anyway, you know the drill: Comment to be added, but don't bother if..

:.* y0oh tiipe lyk diz
:.* you only want to know what I think about you or other people and actually don't care about anything else I put in here.
:.* you are narrowminded. (homophobic, racist, etc.)
:.* you do not understand that this is a journal, meaning that I use it for more than taking online quizzes and things of the sort, but rant and whine in it quite a bit

Other than that, I enjoy meeting new people, so feel free to comment on this entry.
8 Scars|Embrace the beauty within.

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